Starting Again

Well, I have been MIA for months. I had a hemorrhagic cyst present during running training which threw me off of the wagon for 8 weeks. Then I presented with knee pain and swelling. Then I fell off the wagon entirely with eating. I let those things drag me away from what I was doing that was sooooo good for me. I was inspiring people, I was feeling great even if my weight wasn't changing much, and then BAM....flat on my back watching the wagon ride into the sunset.

It's taken some time to get myself to a place mentally where I needed to be in order to start this again. I started writing, hoping to really figure myself out, to figure out why this is such a mental game. That's all weight struggles are, I'm convinced. It's a game we play mentally with ourselves.

Here are some of my recent thoughts:


What is it that drives us deeper into the revolving pit of obsession with being fat, but yet not being able to tackle that fat once and for all? If any of you are like me, which I'm guessing I can't be the only one, we consistently go through these cycles of "I will do this, I will lose 60 pounds this year and shed this fat once and for all." Then what happens? We go gung ho (usually after a nice New Year's resolution) for 2,3,6 or even more months and then flat line. We fall so hard off the wagon, it runs us over and leaves us for dead. Of course, this is a choice we've made, so why is it we continue to make it? Do we love abusing ourselves? Do we love how fat looks in the mirror and that 20 pounds we just shed really looks better hanging over our belts? Certainly not. So, what in the world can we do to get back on the wagon and learn to wear a seatbelt? Seriously people, there has to be some kind of cure! Right?

I speculate that the cure involves much more than we ever bargained for. You hear "calories in, calories out," which in theory is a great theory, but for people with metabolic disorders, PCOS, or thyroid issues, this theory has some other equations. For me, I spent a good 3-4 months solid of calories in and calories out to shed maybe 3 pounds. Yes, I was working out a solid 5-10 hours a week, but I can tell you there wasn't THAT much muscle.

So, what happened? I burnt out. I suffer from PCOS and started having abdominal pain thinking it was a gallbladder issue, only to find out it was a hemorrhagic cyst on my ovary. It hurt to workout, which kept me out of the gym. Then we moved and I began having some knee issues. I cancelled my gym membership, to top it all, because the new house payment on top of another mortgage in another state, made a membership poof from the budget. So, It has been 2.5 months since I have worked out and 2.5 months since I've cared what I put in my mouth. In fact, I've gotten so upset over it all that I've stuffed my face with ice cream, cookies, burgers, onion rings, and all kinds of junk I am fully aware that my body doesn't need. The result? A gain of about 6 pounds. So………why do I continue? That is why I'm here, to figure that out.

I'm fully aware of the science behind weight loss. The proper portions needed at the proper times of day (I've done a lifetime's worth of research on the matter…because I'm always trying to LOSE WEIGHT). I'm aware of what types of foods digest better when with my personal nutritional needs,etc. I have list after list of the do's and don'ts, diet books galore, recipes out the wazoo.

That was about 2 weeks ago. I started logging some daily thoughts along the way as well. I'm finding so much of a link between the mental and the physical. I wasn't fully aware of the intense drive we allow our minds to have when it comes to eating and fitness. The logical side would say that we need to work out and eat well for energy, health, life....but something inside us pulls us the other direction. I'm determined to figure out what "formula" will work for me.

I am wearing my bodybugg again for the first time in months and just this week have been more conscious of what goes in my mouth. Some things I'm implementing:

Eating spinach every day
Eating salads for lunch
No carbs after 2 pm except for fruit
No eating after 9pm
Drink lots of water with lemon (helps detox the liver)
Taking Magnesium, Zinc, and B6 every day

A day's meals might look like this:

Breakfast:
Whey protein scoop (chocolate)
1 banana
2 Tbs cocoa powder
1 tsp honey
14 oz skim milk
2 Tbs flax seed
(blended with ice for a nice delicious smoothie)
376 Calories

Lunch:
1 C. Spinach
1 C. Romaine
1 C. Broccoli
2 slices Roast Beef chopped
1 hard boiled egg
2 Tbs sunflower seeds
2 Tbs Poppyseed dressing
1/2 Avocado
630 Calories

Snack:
1 C. Grapes
1 Tbs. Natural Peanut Butter (Creamy)
215 Calories

Dinner:
I haven't decided what I'm having yet, but it will be carb free. Maybe a small steak and some green beans.

Snack: probably decaf coffee with sugar free coconut syrup and skim milk (filler for those cravings I still have for sugar)

This is not a perfected plan, but this is what I'm starting with. I've ordered a book by Jackie Warner called "This is Why You Are Fat." I know that there are some good suggestions there and I've implemented a couple that I know about, but can't wait to read more of her approach.

My fitness: for now, I'm building back up. 30 minutes a day of cardio (walking, stair stepping, light jogging). I will work my way up to more, but for now, this is where I am ready to be.

Ultimately, it comes down to a couple of key driving factors for me. Obviously I want to be healthy and be around for my kids. Obviously I want to feel better about myself and have a healthy self-image along with more energy etc. Those are standard feelings I think we all have, but not necessarily ones that 'work' in the absence of a real drive like poor test results or someone from the Biggest Loser in your face. My ultimate driving factor is I want to act. Not only act, but star in films. Not only star in films, but be able to get leading or major supporting roles. In order to do that, I have to have a healthy image. There is no beating around that one, that is the industry. I won't be a size 2, but I will tell you that I will never be where I desire to be if I don't do something about this and change my appearance (which changes self-confidence) to be a healthy, fit, sexy 33 year old. End of story.

I also encourage you all to start a journal. Everyone says it, nobody does it. Seriously, not just what you eat, there are a zillion apps for that. Log your FEELINGS. Log your triggers to eat, your excuses. If we aren't fully aware of how we think and the cycles we go through, we will never move past this issue. Not even if we have bypass surgery. We have to fix our minds before we can be cured.

GIVEAWAY~ June 4-11~Shakeology

Shakeology Shaker Cup, Shakeology sample packet, and recipe cards. To see a bigger photo and great before and after photos of the Beachbody Coach who supplied this giveaway, and to get more detailed information about Shakeology, click on my website below:

http://me4fitness.webs.com/giveaways.htm






A special thanks to Jude Voiles, a Beachbody coach who provided this giveaway. You can order this through her if you are interested. The shake is awesome. You get the protein you need with the vitamins and other great nutrition packed in it. It's very tasty too. Jude is an awesome inspiration, she shed a boatload of weight using P90X and Beachbody products. She can answer any questions you may have and help you individually. Beachbody is a great company with great products that always produce great results. For Jude's Website, click on either link above. Here are her before and after photos: (oh by the way, Jude won the $10K contest for P90X)



This giveaway will be mailed directly by Jude, so all entries must be willing for me to distribute your address to her. She will not send you a bunch of useless advertisements and spam mail. This is honestly from the goodness of her heart. This contest ends at midnight on Friday, June 11th. The winner will be announced sometime Saturday. Winners are chosen through a random number generator at random.org.

Comment below to enter or click on my website link at the top of the page to win!!!!

Rough 6 Weeks

Wow, first, I have to apologize for not being around for a while. It has been a tough 6 weeks for me. My kids have been sick on and off (mostly on) for that entire period. It has messed with my head, my workout schedules, and anything and everything else. I'm trying now to pick myself up and dust myself off and hop back on the wagon, because friends, I fell off. I have not gained, but I have only lost 1 pound in 6 weeks.

So, today is a new day. I still had a sick child, with a trip to the Dr. again, but I got in a small 20 minute workout. Better than nothing.

I will be posting more.....the giveaway is next...so watch for it!

Giveaway Winner~Body Scrub

Congratulations to Jessica-Fields Leone for being the winner of the blog giveaway. For those of you who are curious how the winner is chosen, a random number generator is used to pick the winning number. Each comment entry is given a number 1-5 etc and then a random number is chosen through random.org's number generator.

Make sure you keep checking back! I will have another giveaway this next week.

Things are a little crazy for me right now as my little guy is very very sick, so trying to stay on track is hard for me. I am supposed to get my bum out and run tonight but I am thoroughly exhausted from being up most of the night and holding him most of the day. So, hopefully I will get the run done....but I'm not making promises.....not excuses......just not promises.


Have a blessed day. Next week's giveaway will be a tasty treat, but low calorie.

A Moment to Ponder May 15, 2010

So, I'm sitting here thinking about a few things. Primarily about setbacks and what we choose to do with them when we face them. Ultimately, it's not IF we face them, it's when. Especially when weight is something we've struggled with for years. All of us who have been in these shoes know these moments. Moments that have so often been deal breakers for our diets.

So, how do we learn to spit in the face of adversity? It could be a variety of things that throws our switch. That switch, that, once it's thrown, sends us immediately to the kitchen, dairy queen, or to a giant chocolate cake with our name on it. That switch that reverses our thinking for sometimes hours and sets us on a warpath of diet sabotage. I had one of those moments today. It started out with the power being out when I woke up, which immediately ruined my daily routine breakfast consisting of a chocolate banana whey protein smoothie. That is my DAILY breakfast and I had no power to run the blender. BLASTED POWER. So, I ate 2 servings of honey nut cheerios with skim milk (263.3 calories). Not a bad choice, but when lacking the protein I'm used to, it never satisfied me.

It was then time to head to the gym for the kids to have their swim lessons, with my weight loss club meeting in-between. Another thing I noticed when I woke up was that my little guy seemed to be acting strangely quiet for his normal self........so we head to the gym. My four-year-old gets into her class and while she is swimming, I realize I am still hungry and my two-year-old starts saying "smmoothie" because naturally they have a smoothie for breakfast too, and he knows they make them at the gym. So, he and I go to the cafe in the gym and order a smoothie and I pick myself up a bagel to go with it. This adds a whopping 555 calories and it wasn't even lunch time.

M's (girl) swimming lessons ended and I was on the mad dash to get her dressed and in the childcare with her brother so I could go to my weight loss meeting. After my meeting, I went to pick up H (boy) from the childcare and take him to his swimming lessons. He was burning up and they said he'd fallen asleep. I opted out of swimming lessons and we packed up to leave for home, still not knowing if we would return to no power. I drove around this local diner close to the gym pondering picking up a burger and onion rings. I kid you not, I drove in circles while I made my decision. Finally, I decided to go home.

My day kept on the spiral downhill from there. Not having much planned for my meals (and planning is everything) I ate mini bagels with cream cheese and basil pesto for lunch. Get this, 1047 calories. FOR BAGELS. You are now seeing why paying attention to labels and contents are VITAL. Because my day was ruined by a lack of my normal, healthy, breakfast, I went on a spiral downhill.....oh, and it's NOT over yet.

After the kids woke up from naps, the little guy was still feverish and really needy and clingy and though we had power, I still had no plan for dinner......again........so I opted to order buffalo wings and cheesesticks from papa john's. Oh oh oh, wait, it doesn't end there.........I made no bake cookies too. Yes, the day that was already out of control spread into dinner time. Mentally, I was out of the game of paying attention and actually caring what I was eating. Dinner=2162 calories. For cheesesticks, buffalo wings, and no bake cookies....and MIND YOU....slightly more than 1/2 of the amount I would've eaten before I started this journey. That is 4, count them 4 cheese sticks.......7 buffalo wings, and 3 no bake cookies. That's NOT 4 pieces of pizza, etc etc. That just goes to show you how many calories are packed into the food we order from restaurants.

Is my frustration over with? No. Am I mad at myself for this setback? Probably a little. BUT, what I have come to grips with in this journey is that setbacks will happen. You MUST move on the next day....even the next meal. Dwelling on the setback in the past made me so mad at myself that I'd quit my diet within a week because I'd dwell on my failures rather than my successes. What we have to learn in this journey is to focus on the good, when the bad happens move on when it's over. Don't look back, because if you spend your time looking back, you'll miss what could be NOW and what kind of future IS possible.

That's all for now.....more another time.......good night!

May 13, 2010~GIVEAWAY & Recap

SOME INFO ABOUT THE GIVEAWAY: This giveaway is not for any other purpose than to give something away. I enjoy blessing people without any reason other than just to do it. There is no cost or obligation to anyone who wishes to enter to win. It doesn't get you on some weird mailing list, it just enters you to win something for FREE. Totally FREE, no obligations, no gimmicks, just because it's fun for me! ;) So, enter to win in the comments section!!

Wow, it's been a while since I've posted! Where has the time gone? I guess I've been busy!

Over the past couple of weeks, I had sick kids and sick me which threw a wrench into the workouts. So, for an entire week, I worked out once which really bit me when I headed back on Monday to start running again. Holy mercy, it felt like I was dragging 20 pound weights around on my legs while trying to run. BUT, I am back at it now, have 2 days of running behind me and am starting to feel good. I've also had 2 really good deficit days this week.

Monday's Stats:
Calories Burned: 3513
Calories Consumed: 1654
Calorie Deficit: 1859

Tuesday's Stats:
Calories Burned:3023
Calories Consumed: 2358
Calorie Deficit: 665

Wednesday's Stats:
Calories Burned: 3717
Calories Consumed: 1674
Calorie Deficit: 2043

I'm feeling really good this week. Watching Biggest Loser always keeps me so motivated. Watching the contestants shed weight and gain confidence is what inspired my journey to begin with. Little did I know that just starting exercise would boost the way I felt about me. That's where I started and it grew into more. It's like a thirst, you do more, you want more. It feels so incredibly awesome to move my body and to start feeling more and more comfortable in my own skin.

This weekend, I hope to help spread the "get moving" and "change your life" contagiousness that I've got running around in my brain. I am helping the fitness coordinator at my gym with a new weight loss club. That starts Saturday, which I'm totally excited about. Not so much for my own benefit, but if I can even share anything I'm doing to help motivate someone else, it's worth it. I know I could do this on my own a, but what a good way to meet and motivate people. I know there are people out there where I was 5 months ago and I'd love to show them that it can be done.

My weight loss from April 5-May 5 was 8.9 pounds. I felt really awesome about that. I will officially report weight again June 5. I will weigh in weekly, but due to fluctuations I prefer to officially report once a month because it is a more accurate loss measurement.....though if I have a really good week, don't be surprised to see me post the results lol.

Okay....now onto the GIVEAWAY. Post in the comments section of TODAY'S post and it automatically enters you to win.........

a brown sugar and honey body scrub made with nourishing almond oil, brown sugar, and honey. It's a guiltless pleasure. You get the sugar and honey without the calories while you nourish and exfoliate your skin. This is an 8oz scrub, which is HUGE.




THIS GIVEAWAY ENDS SUNDAY AT MIDNIGHT. Winner will be notified via the posts section (unless I know how to contact you) Monday morning as well as announced on the blog page Monday morning. Make sure you check back on Monday!

April 29, 2010 Recap

Calories Burned: 2882
Calories Consumed: 1761
Calorie Deficit: 1121
Steps: 7083

Being sick stinks. I was totally exhausted yesterday, napped, but forced myself out for a walk in the evening. I really really want to run tonight. REALLY. I will see how I'm feeling once that time comes...maybe I should nap first and take more vitamin C.

I'm starting to gear up for a regular giveaway, and realized that it wasn't necessarily easy to comment on the page. I've changed it to allow comments from everyone, so next giveaway should be a bit easier.

I don't have a lot of exciting things to say today since I feel crummy.....so until tomorrow friends....