A Moment to Ponder May 15, 2010

So, I'm sitting here thinking about a few things. Primarily about setbacks and what we choose to do with them when we face them. Ultimately, it's not IF we face them, it's when. Especially when weight is something we've struggled with for years. All of us who have been in these shoes know these moments. Moments that have so often been deal breakers for our diets.

So, how do we learn to spit in the face of adversity? It could be a variety of things that throws our switch. That switch, that, once it's thrown, sends us immediately to the kitchen, dairy queen, or to a giant chocolate cake with our name on it. That switch that reverses our thinking for sometimes hours and sets us on a warpath of diet sabotage. I had one of those moments today. It started out with the power being out when I woke up, which immediately ruined my daily routine breakfast consisting of a chocolate banana whey protein smoothie. That is my DAILY breakfast and I had no power to run the blender. BLASTED POWER. So, I ate 2 servings of honey nut cheerios with skim milk (263.3 calories). Not a bad choice, but when lacking the protein I'm used to, it never satisfied me.

It was then time to head to the gym for the kids to have their swim lessons, with my weight loss club meeting in-between. Another thing I noticed when I woke up was that my little guy seemed to be acting strangely quiet for his normal self........so we head to the gym. My four-year-old gets into her class and while she is swimming, I realize I am still hungry and my two-year-old starts saying "smmoothie" because naturally they have a smoothie for breakfast too, and he knows they make them at the gym. So, he and I go to the cafe in the gym and order a smoothie and I pick myself up a bagel to go with it. This adds a whopping 555 calories and it wasn't even lunch time.

M's (girl) swimming lessons ended and I was on the mad dash to get her dressed and in the childcare with her brother so I could go to my weight loss meeting. After my meeting, I went to pick up H (boy) from the childcare and take him to his swimming lessons. He was burning up and they said he'd fallen asleep. I opted out of swimming lessons and we packed up to leave for home, still not knowing if we would return to no power. I drove around this local diner close to the gym pondering picking up a burger and onion rings. I kid you not, I drove in circles while I made my decision. Finally, I decided to go home.

My day kept on the spiral downhill from there. Not having much planned for my meals (and planning is everything) I ate mini bagels with cream cheese and basil pesto for lunch. Get this, 1047 calories. FOR BAGELS. You are now seeing why paying attention to labels and contents are VITAL. Because my day was ruined by a lack of my normal, healthy, breakfast, I went on a spiral downhill.....oh, and it's NOT over yet.

After the kids woke up from naps, the little guy was still feverish and really needy and clingy and though we had power, I still had no plan for dinner......again........so I opted to order buffalo wings and cheesesticks from papa john's. Oh oh oh, wait, it doesn't end there.........I made no bake cookies too. Yes, the day that was already out of control spread into dinner time. Mentally, I was out of the game of paying attention and actually caring what I was eating. Dinner=2162 calories. For cheesesticks, buffalo wings, and no bake cookies....and MIND YOU....slightly more than 1/2 of the amount I would've eaten before I started this journey. That is 4, count them 4 cheese sticks.......7 buffalo wings, and 3 no bake cookies. That's NOT 4 pieces of pizza, etc etc. That just goes to show you how many calories are packed into the food we order from restaurants.

Is my frustration over with? No. Am I mad at myself for this setback? Probably a little. BUT, what I have come to grips with in this journey is that setbacks will happen. You MUST move on the next day....even the next meal. Dwelling on the setback in the past made me so mad at myself that I'd quit my diet within a week because I'd dwell on my failures rather than my successes. What we have to learn in this journey is to focus on the good, when the bad happens move on when it's over. Don't look back, because if you spend your time looking back, you'll miss what could be NOW and what kind of future IS possible.

That's all for now.....more another time.......good night!